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10/27/2009 ...........其实自己做得一D都唔够，
一唔想做就系到逃避，
迟早死~
好烦，好烦，
好想放弃。
好辛苦，唔想再顶啦。。。。。。。。。
救命！~~
但系又一定要撑落去〉。。。。。。。
其实唔系依家先发现，
一早就知。
只不过一直自己厄自己，
又系逃避。。。。。。
系唔系时候应该自己反省下自己有D咩问题，
以前个自己究竟去佐边（虽然以前个个我也不要得，简直系个废物！）
起码比现在要开心。
现在噶我系努力追求自己目标噶同时，
系唔系同时都迷失佐自己..........
遇到小小困难就动摇，
要不得！！
既然现在只有自己，
就惟有自己同自己打气，
时间好快就会过！
千其唔好比机会自己第日去后悔~
撑落去啦！！ 9/7/2009 ......No matter how it hurts, it all for your own good......
So I'm not gonna forget about the sadness of my life..............
cheer up!!! Yo! 8/29/2009 ...............当初让你进入我的世界，
谁知.....
最后你将入面噶所有嘢都偷走......
剩低噶，
就只有一堆挥之不去噶回忆......
如果可以再比我捡，
我宁愿我们只是擦身而过的陌生人，
不曾交谈，不曾相识，更不曾共同拥有过快乐噶时光......
做两条永远都不会相交噶平行线，
总好过最后比陌路人还要陌生......
有好多嘢，
当你拥有咗之后就会好自然0甘赋予拒希望；
但喺，
人生呢个游戏噶规则总喺，希望越大，失望越大....
可惜我们唔可以预知未来，
否则，
我们就唔会踏出即将会后悔噶那一步。
虽然我们可以后悔，
但除了哀叹，却什么都做唔到......
如此地可笑，
0甘倒不如一笑置之......
无错，
我噶世界喺比人抢走咗，
即管拿去吧，
我仍然可以再创造一个新噶世界，
一个与你平行噶世界，
一个你永远也达不到噶世界，
看你在我所创造的旧世界里面迷失，
我才是笑到最后的人...... 7/19/2009 it's been a long time好耐都无写啦！
今日做咗一大半take home final，
终于都做唔落去了，
所以又再次黎到呢到偷懒......
仲有几日，
summer噶final就完啦，
一次偶然噶机会，
我又将要出发去LA啦，
不过呢次唔系自己一个人去，
而系怀着不同的心情，
唔再系逃避，而喺去面对，
去再次体验一个自己将有可能长期居住的城市。
希望这次又会有一个全新噶体验啦！
呢次去LA其实系有另一个任务噶，
就喺要去视察一下UC Irvine，必要的话还要再去一次UCLA。
去UCI就要自己去，
唸住去join个个12点喺UCI噶tour,
而且交通唔系好方便，
所以一定要做好准备先得！！！
话晒成日将拒地挂在口边，
却唔喺好了解拒地，
万一后悔就唔好啦！
其实我都好想顺便去埋UC Santa Barbara，
因为睇到D相真系好靓，
虽然喺出咗名噶party school，
但系拒accouting噶reputation都唔错，
所以都不失为一个好噶选择。
但系拒同LA真系有D距离，
所以惟有下次啦...........
因为懒噶关系，
所以都无为上次NYC噶旅程写翻篇日志，
不过照片都说明一切啦！
真喺玩到流连忘返啊！！
返黎真系好想又book过机票下part summer再去多次！
不过由于钱银问题，
下次去NYC应该都喺返完中国之后噶事啦！！
提起NYC，
不禁又唸起Gossip Girl，
点解拒仲未有新season噶！！！
好想睇啊！！
偷懒时间到！！！
闪！！
GOOD LUCK ON MY FINAL GRADE！！！！
4/23/2009 踩下自己个场......YO!!
好耐都无上过嚟，
不过话都无甘快就嚟又final啦！
所以上嚟为自己打下气......（其实喺因为早上0岩考完个试，心里面有D浮躁，无心机睇书）
睇到泳欣毕业兼考埋硕士，
真喺又高兴又羡慕，
因为自己连毕业相都未影过（我指大学毕业）。
到咗summer，好多朋友都毕晒业啦，
而自己却连学士一半噶路都未走完...
可能到我学士毕业个时，泳欣已经硕士毕业啦...
不过难得可以有多次机会比我拣，
就慢慢嚟啦！！
Summer！！！Summer！！！！Summer！！！！！！！！！
SUMMER=NEW YORK!!!!!
今日依然喺贯彻我一向噶作风--耐不住性子！！
趁见到平噶酒店，就即刻定咗啦~haha
凭着永不言弃噶精神，成功甘免费upgrade咗间房！！！yeah!!
间酒店就系坐落WALL street到！！
52 William Street,
New York City,NY,10005 就甘google下都觉得好兴奋!!! >o<
虽然唔大，不过睇过D review 都话几干净，最紧要就系个location好！！
好似话两个block之内就有3个subway station啦！ 正！！
未出发就已经好兴奋啦！！！
自己喺到提早咗个暑假.......=_=
都喺比心机D温书啦......
讲到尾4个A先喺最重要噶！！
加油啦！！NYC！！YEAH！！！
即闪！！！
2/26/2009 f........."they fuck you up"......
"they don't meant to"....
"but they do".................................................................................................................................. 2/16/2009 Congras!!!呢個個情人節， 有情人終成眷屬！ ！ 恭喜！恭喜！ ！ 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 。 直到昨天先明白鑽石的真正意義， “生命跟鑽石一樣，尊貴不在於名譽與權力，而在於真摯與忠誠，只有這樣生命方可如鑽石一樣，永恆不變，散發不朽光輝”...... 2/11/2009 咪又喺为咗自己......所谓噶伟大，无私，
究竟喺为咗咩，
其实最终噶目的咪又喺为咗等自己可以好过D。
有阵时D人喺到扮伟大，
想扼人，最后连自己都扼埋，
甘喺为乜？
不如干脆D，
做自己想做噶嘢，
就唔使扼哩扼去啦...... 2/1/2009 废话...一D 不起眼噶人事物，
总会在他们那个渺小的世界入面创造一些不平凡的经历。
尽管英雄们噶战绩曾经多么的辉煌，
在这个世界上，也只不过是过眼云烟；
地球不会因他们的存在而转快D，
也不会因他们的消逝而停止转动。
这样，所有噶人事物也無所谓之伟大或渺小，
耀眼或不起眼。
人，
只不过是世界上噶几个细胞而已。
即使将会被世界遗忘，
但只要自己活得心安快乐，
那就是最大的成就。
写完就觉得真是有够废的。
1/11/2009 school begins tmr~~time just runs!!!
tomorrow is the first day of school again!!
really hope the following semester will pass soon,
then it's the New York City waitting for me!!!
even though sth. had happened last semester,
but finally I got all As....
I believe it's because I was planning a trip to Seattle so I got sth to fight for!!
It's pity that I couldn't make it at last, but it had help me with my grade!
So in conclusion, traveling is actually helping my studying!!
or, maybe the B in summer school just sucked me too much,
so getting all As is because not wanna get a B, that bad looking B!
anyway~I think the trip helped me the most....
I kinda calculate the money I'm gonna use in the New York trip,
surprisingly it's actually cheaper than I imagine!!
Hope the flight tickets won't go up much if I book them in the spring break!!
then spending of the trip can be decreased to a 1000, which means I can spend more in shopping!!!
oh yeah~I really know how to make myself happy!!
But I'd better get myself back to business cz next sem is a tough one~1C and accounting!!!
I kinda wanna delay the 110C cz I really tired of math and it seems it's unnecessary!!
and 1C and acct are hard enough to kill me~
maybe just relax!
1/1/2009 New Year......Happy New Year to all!!
Now, what? 8:36am, 1-1-2009?
in front of KiKi's laptop.
I can't go to sleep anymore, 'cz I'm kinda sick of the alchol from last night.
I'm not drunk at all though, just a cold and terrible sleep have make me sick....kinda....
It's so good to see KiKi again, in San Francisco.
and she's intruduced me some cool people....
defined cool people,
that means they all have gone through sth. or is going through sth.
sth that I can't imagine or I've never been through......
sth just not in my world at all.....
that makes me have to redifine how's my world look like.....
In front of them,
I am still like a baby, who doesn't really been through anything in this real world yet.
Maybe the most impressive thing I have done is that I went to LA by myself, and actually learn sth.
otherwise, nothing is impressive, Yet, in my life, I think.
but at least I have known some good friends in China or US,
Oh! I've just been through sth. though, what makes me wanna treasure more who I have right now......
So, anyway, I pretty sure that I should go out and make me some more experience later.............
Also, they help me to realize that the life here is actually not that easy as I saw before...
The reason that my life is kinda free now is because I have avoided many reponsibility for myself,
I dunt buy a car, even a second-handed, I dunt need to pay the rent, I dunt give my family money,
even though I have pay for the home phone and internet fee, and so on, but that's just not much.
Like my mom said, everyone gotta have some responsibility in this country.
but I just dunt wanna take any of those Yet........
So, Yes, I am the selfishest person in the world.
But there's still time, isn't it?
I'm sure I will catch up with that responsibility later.
It's a New Year now, 2009!
Usually I'd like to estimate whether this is a lucky year or not,
'cz sth must be happening in the first day of the year, good or bad.......
but this year, I really dunt know, and I think I'm not gonna think about this question anymore,
no matter good or bad, luck or not, I gotta keep going, right.
so why let that first day to determine whether the following 364 days are good or not.........
I dunt know what's gonna happen in the future,
that's what keeps me alive since I've been curiouse of the future always.......
It's good to just be me......... 12/28/2008 Missing You......今日睇到张学友出“男人四十”，
有几个镜头影住深圳噶夜街，
突然觉得好熟悉，
熟悉的灯光桥墩，熟悉的地下通道，
现在才发现原来那些灯光桥墩那么早就在那里了，因为“男人四十”应该是很早之前的电影吧......
还有那些广告灯，
怎么看都像是一个包二奶叫鸡的好城市，
虽然以前一直都知道这是个事实，
但不曾有过这种感觉，
直到现在，我好像有点体会到外来人对深圳是怎样的一种感觉了......
但我一点也没有别人那种带有对这个城市这点的鄙视的想法，
我还是好想回去.......
因为那是我长大的地方，最开心和最伤心的地方，
几乎所有我珍惜的人和回忆都在那个城市里面。
我常常在想当我回去的时候是怎样的一种情景，
逛街的时候已经在踌躇一年多之后的礼物了，
他们还记得我吗？还会出来和我一起疯吗？路都会变了吗？还有福建馄饨，桂林米粉，还有过桥米线吗？
好想去翻深大吃个碟终生难忘的滑蛋牛肉饭，
中森名菜应该还在吧！我应该也会去一次潮泰吧........
翻到去一定要去机室打机打到爆！！
到时候要怎样过香港呢？听说好像现在更容易过去了！
想很多很多的东西.......
今个winter break，
翻广州噶翻广州，
翻香港噶翻香港，
去旅游噶去旅游，
虽然中间都有得去UC DAVIS到睇下或者去滑下雪，
基本上我都系留翻系到做也赚钱。
其实我都好想返深圳，
见翻想见噶人，
去翻D以前成日去噶地方，
其实已经再唔系钱同时间噶问题，
而系我同自己讲一定要读完city college先可以翻去。
到时要转去边间学校都可以有个交待，
其实呢个系我自己噶事，同任何人无关系，
但系唔知点解我自己会有呢个决定，
可能这样至少可以证明在我来美国这几年间没有白过吧......
所以说不喜欢离别，
应该说是讨厌吧。
从小学开始就是这样了。
除了shopping，
我基本上是讨厌香港的，
因为小学的最好最好的朋友都因为要移民去香港而转学了。
剩下我在这里，
很讨厌走的不是我。
不知道是高兴还是失败，
我从小学开始在学校的路就很平坦-- 从来都不用转学，
一直到大学，要去美国。
我曾经试过叫Mommy让我转学，
因为每个人都走了，我留着也没什么意义，
为什么就是我不能走呢?
真的很讨厌每个人都走了只剩我一个，
所以我宁愿走的是我。
it's a sin，but Ｉkinda have a feeling of joy to leave everything back.
althought it's not a good feeling to leave, at leave I dn't just stand there and watch and can't do anything.
and I know I'm nothin' but selfish..........
however, sometimes just is just good to be bad.......fucking everything!!!
放假终于可以看很早就买下来的书了！
A Long Way Down,
是讲四个要跳楼的人的经历的，
LA认识那个德国女孩介绍我看的，
真的不错。
可以写很多读后感呢！
但因为懒，所以还是储多点感想再写吧！
竟然可以快要看到KiKi了，
刚来的时候还想可以见到她的，
但她在boston，
现在竟然要回来SF了！还说琴姐也有可能来呢！！
真的很期待可以看到他们！！
还想着这个New Year's Eve 会无聊，
但系KiKi可能有个Home Party！
甘就唔使惊闷啦！！
呃，一下子说太多了，
该去洗澡了！ 12/15/2008 请赐我力量！！！仲有一科數學就（基本上）考完final啦！ ！ 請賜我力量！ ！ ！ ！ ！ ！ ！ ！ ！ 唔可以偷懶！ ！ ！ ！ ！ Freedom's gettin' closed!!!!! 11/27/2008 偷懒....又偷懒啦!!!!!!!!
自从上次噶遭遇之后，
都好耐无上哩写也啦！！！
4日噶thanksgiving好似好多甘，
不过其实唔係噶！！
本来唸住有4日噶时间可以好好甘准备一下fianl，
不过我实在係太懒，
而且星期五中午开始就要出门口，
跟住就要返工。
星期六就预咗成日都要係外面玩！！
虽然呢个月已经破咗产唔想再用钱，
不过都几期待噶，去完outlet然后Ikea！！
应该会几好玩挂！
晚上有Candy噶Party，
可能要玩到好夜...
甘样计落嚟，
都系得翻两日咋！！
甘同放个星期六日有咩分别啊？！！
加上我人懒效率低，
呢次又screw up啦~~~~
呢排真係“闷慌了”！！
星期三借咗老豆架车开翻学，
点知................
呃！！！！！！！
对唔住啊，我真係真係唔係有心噶！！！（唔係同我老豆讲）
我以后会小心架啦！！！我知错啦！！
不过老豆无怪到我，
因为拒话“点都要试下架啦！不过搞到我惊咗好耐0者！”
多谢你啊老豆！！
呢日睇咗好多其他人噶相，
我都好想去影下相啊，
好耐都无点我部TZ3同Holga啦，
真係好挂住拿住相机係手噶感觉啊！！
但系fianl在即，
真係唔敢点D hobby，
好惊到时会一发不可收拾，收拾，收拾，收拾.......
不过发誓final之后一定要去狂影！影到够为止！！哈哈！！！
相机们！等我啊！！！
仲有就係little yellow suitcase!!
我一定会稳机会陪你出去玩噶，
到时我地同相机兄弟们一齐去happy好无？？
最后，就係同中国噶朋友讲对唔住。
我真係好想翻去噶，
不过我又真係好想同时带埋我新学校噶消息一齐翻去，
睇到谭笑D相，
真係好想即刻就可以见到你地，
一齐去玩！！
希望你地到我翻去个时可以继续同我玩就好啦！
时间又到，
继续努力啦！
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL！！
YOU KNOW I DO HAVE STH. TO THANKFUL FOR...... 10/18/2008 ViVa It...........除咗party之外，
消除烦恼最有用噶都喺shopping啦....
因为唔可以无端端有个party，Jimmy个party又过咗，
甘就shopping啦！！！
本来开头唔知喺到行咪，
乱行......
但喺后来见到有间新店喺Westfield到，
即刻就冲咗入去，
灾难！！！
一入去就见到对boot，试！
见到UK stlye噶uniform 外套，试！
个sales话件adi外套好睇，试埋！
袋好靓，拿住先！
好唔容易Meko竟然可以稳到条dream belt，试啦！
喺间店到玩咗成半个几钟，玩到唔记得影相，哈哈......
不过个到D sales 好恐怖架，
耳仔软D都可以整到倾家荡产，
虽然我已经叫住拒，
Meko最后都喺买咗条皮带，都几贵噶....
不过好彩自己都喺做sales，
梗喺无死甘快啦！
不过最后都喺拿走咗个袋！
因为几中意，未见到有人用又唔贵！！杀啦！
之后去咗买衫，呢次终于记得影相啦..... 喺fitting room入面......
一定喺买到也开心到傻咗......
个sales话希望可以喺facebook到见翻张相喔......睇哩都无咩可能啦...... 一个偷走紧噶贼...... 月底你就死啦，Tammy..... 10/14/2008 A Letter for JIf you can read it...I think you can understand what I'm sayin', if you can't.......maybe that's the problem we really have......
I'm sad that I have to make things clear here, cz I dn't wanna talk anymore....
Do you think only me I'm the only one who changed?
Do you think you didn't change any?
Did you ever notice that our phone calls are less and less,
the conversation is shorter and shorter
and there's more and more silence during the conversation?
Even at last I felt like I was bothering you if I called you to ask an English question.....
I'm not sure if you know or not that you are best the best here....
Do you remember the registration for the summer class ealier before?
You're you the first one came in my mind that I should tell you the secret of earlier registration.
So when Moon cannot resgister for the ENG1a because I didn't tell her the secret, felt so guilty.
So I tried very hard to help her to get that class, but it failed.....
So everytime she said her english class was so hard, I always blamed myslef........
Even though I notice it way long before,
I think I would be normal when you finally tell me what's goin' on.
And even though I kown our friendship is going down hills,
I try to stronger it by planning an only girls night in a hotel after watch "the sisterhood of the traveling pants",
however, I finally can't make it.
But when I heard that "news",
It turns out that it still hurts that I have to get the truth form other people, who I think he's just kinda a "friend" of us......
And it turns out that we were just always talking and walking together.......
Maybe this event is just a bomb, it boom everything out at one time......
I did upset, not angry.
but I prefer that everybody think I'm just angry like a twelve year old that dn't understand what's a real friendship.....
If a friend just means help and be help,
I'm sorry to let you guys down, my friendship doesn't only mean that.....
Or maybe I'm the only one who think so,
so I'd better keep some distance with everyone from now on.
I'm upset that you are further and further from me,
I'm upset that finally I have to do this to you,
I'm upset that I lose my friends because me cann't get over sth. that just in my mind.....
Before the party you said that you'll go to NY for a wedding, I dn't wanna talk with you anymore.
But I'm upset that finally I have to cancel the winter plan and NY trip even though I still hope that maybe we will be fine in the winter, or at least next summer......
I'm upset that the school is still going on and I dn't have another excuse to run away.
I'm upset that I can only think of running away to solve the problem.
After tonight I'm also upset that Mike said he's an outsider,
that he's just a middle man between you and me, and his asignment is just make up the friendship btw you and me,and only for you......
Maybe I should be happy about it.....cz I've never got a friendship from him so it seems like what I lose is only you.......
He said I have only three days,
but I really not sure what I can do after three days because I've given me more than 10 days in LA to trying to think of everything......
and we still have to come to this step like now,
I dn't have the confident that everything will go back the same like before even though I want to.....
Things have happened,
and sth. is changed.
Time waites for no one,
even though I regret what I have done or or you regret what you have done,
it happeded.........
Now I just hope time can really help to kills the distance btw us.
......it's still my fault......
just because of anther reason........
I ain't no qualification to bury anything......... |
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